on living at home

i hate living at home.
i hate the
feeling
and the
noise
and the
music
and the
loud fan.
i hate the
memories
and the
mess
and the
disappointment
in my father's
eyes.
i hate
being the bearer of bad
news.
i hate the initial
relief
in my mother's
eyes
and the following
sadness
when i tell her
i don't want to
be here.